it's a commercial baby!
Our baby is now ad-supported.
Five ad spots on one Cybex Priam. Highest bid holds a spot until someone pays more. Nothing is ever refunded. Weekly photo drops on X.
🍼 Preview mode — the auction opens as soon as the stroller is wired to Stripe. The board below shows starting prices.
Dashed pin = far side of the cart. Tap a pin to bid. The baby is not for sale.
The inventory
The Marquee
front / top
$25
current bid
Front-facing. The first thing oncoming pedestrians see, and it's in every stroller photo ever taken. Premium inventory.
Portside Panel
left side of the cart
$15
current bid
Faces café terraces and sidewalk traffic. Oslo drinks a lot of coffee outdoors. They will see you.
Starboard Panel
right side of the cart
$15
current bid
Faces the road. Bus lanes, cyclists, and captive audiences at red lights. Out-of-home media at knee height.
The Left Grip
handlebar, left
$10
current bid
Inches from the operator's hands and eye-level for everyone who stops to coo at the baby. Intimate placement.
The Right Grip
handlebar, right
$10
current bid
Same as the Left Grip, but on the right. For brands that lean right.
🚨 Full Stroller Takeover
the entire stroller
$100
starting price
All five spots, the wheels, the vibe. Costs 25% more than everything underneath it combined, and lapses if the spot sponsors collectively buy the stroller back.
Live floor: $100 — always 25% above the five spots combined. Lapses if the spot sponsors collectively out-fund you.
The drama, live
- Baby's College Fund planted a flag on The Right Grip for $10Aug 20
- Baby's College Fund claimed The Left Grip for $10Aug 20
- Baby's College Fund moved into Starboard Panel for $15Aug 20
- Baby's College Fund claimed Portside Panel for $15Aug 20
- Baby's College Fund moved into The Marquee for $25Aug 20
How it works
- 1
Pay whatever you want
Whole US dollars, $1 to $999,999. Stripe Checkout, instant.
- 2
Highest total holds the spot
Bids from the same brand stack. Your war chest is forever.
- 3
Nothing is refunded. Ever.
Outbid? Your money already walked around Oslo. That's the game.
- 4
The sticker is real
Winning logos get printed and stuck on the actual Cybex Priam within a week.
- 5
Proof of impressions
Daily walks in Oslo, weekly photo drops on X.
Full print: the rules
Questions from concerned adults
Is this real?
Extremely. Real stroller, real baby, real Stripe account, real stickers, real Oslo weather.
What does the baby think?
The baby is pre-verbal and therefore pre-opinion. The college fund, however, is very supportive.
Do I get analytics?
You get a baby being walked past your customers every single day and a weekly photo. That IS the analytics.
What if I get outbid?
You'll get an email within seconds, and your previous payments still count toward your total. Retaking your spot costs only the difference plus the increment.
Can I put anything on the stroller?
No. Family-friendly veto, zero discussion. See the rules.
Why would I do this?
Cheapest out-of-home media in Scandinavia, and the only one with nap schedules.